Six of the best

Norwich Hotspur 6 - 3 Wymondham College Reserves
14/12/2008

As any football club manager will tell you the Christmas fixtures can make or break any clubs season. So after a 5 week break since our last game I had long been touting this match as a MUST WIN game. I was looking for a good performance and a good result. On paper we looked solid and based on previous home form I was feeling confident that we had enough in the tank to get all 3 points from this match.

During my usual pre-match cliche ridden speach, I warned the lads against complacency, told them we needed to be 'at it' right from the off. I had draughted in Brother Harvey and his special friend Simon for this match to add a bit of fire power up front in the absence of our rootin' tootin' shootin' yanky doodle dandy Guz being absent through injury. Big Ken Rooney was fit again and back in the starting line up, Big Nige having been fitted with a new high tensile steel piston that we had specially made in a Tokyo shipyard was also back in, add to that lots of quality elsewhere and a decent looking bench.

The game kicked off and we were immediately on top, in fact we were 2-0 up within 15 minutes and cruising. Then the wheels started to come off. First Wymondham scored a really jammy goal - a mishit shot from 25 yards seemed no threat at first, only for it to somehow find a way through a crowd of players, past an unsighted (well that's what he said) goalkeeper and into the corner of the net off the inside of the post, 2-1. Worse was to follow. Having missed a hat full of chances we conceded another after Big Nige managed to toe end a cross into his own net (Guz reckons you're now on -1 goals for the season by the way).

Half time 2-2.

Having dominated the first half I couldn't believe we were level. My half time team talk went along the lines of 'we dominated the first half I can't believe we are level' and something inspiring about 'keep it simple, take your time on the ball, pick the right pass and we will win this' - it was good stuff. Four pairs of fresh legs were brought on - Paul Tink, Glenn Brown, Mark Mann and Chris Oakley - hmmmm, perhaps fresh legs is not exactly the right phrase.

Wymondham kicked off. Shit, they scored again and we hadn't even touched the ball. Some dodgy marking at the back post shall not be mentioned. 2-3. This was not part of the plan, even Gazza Davies (my man of the match) was getting frustrated at this.

Thankfully, from there we steadied the ship and went on to score 4 quality goals and rightfully take all three points. Job done, must win game was won, good all round squad performance and 6 really high quality goals - so good in fact that I need to describe each one in detail for the record.

1. Lighting Strike (Gareth Davies)

Defending a corner, Cushy & Vince cleared, the ball was played quickly up to Brother Harvey who nipped in front of his marker and flicked the ball on. Gazza D had already started his run, Wymondham were like rabbits caught in the headlights as 'whoosh' Gazza tore past them onto the flick - he was gone! Harry Redknapp once said that Theo Walcott was so graceful that he could run through a puddle without making a splash, well the sight of Gazza at full tilt was nothing like that at all to be fair. He still had the whole of the opponents half to cover, but was looking in control. As he bore down on the keeper, he poised to pull the trigger, I remember at least 3 of us shouting that thing that all players love to hear when they are about to shoot - "FINISH". To his credit he managed to block out the primal screams and cooly 'slotted' the ball home under the keeper - nice. 1-0.

2. Le Tunnel (Jem Walters)

Some neat passing in midfield between myself, Cushy and Gazza D left me with the ball at my feet, I shrugged off one challenge and was moving at 'pace' towards the Wymondham penalty area. Their two centre halfs closed in, I managed to slip the ball through the legs of one of them (in the UK we refer to this as 'NUTS' or 'MEGS', however in France they call it 'LE TUNNEL') and burst into the box. His centre half partner came across to cover, but I managed to force the ball out to Gazza D on the edge of the box. Using my natural athleticism I sprang back onto my feet just in time to receive the ball back from Gazza after he cut it back from the by line. One touch, a quick look up and then BOOM, I smashed the ball into the back of the net off the underside of the bar - sweet. 2-0.

3. Perfect Simplicity (Paul Cushion)

Despite going 2-3 down straight after the kick off for the 2nd half, I was still confident that we could turn it round if we kept it simple. This goal was perfection in terms of its simple execution. Nige picked up the ball just inside our half. Good first touch, he looked up and picked out his target. Having tamed his new piston, he pulled back this right foot (pishhhed teecuff) and floated a lovely ball forward 20 yards upto Mark Mann. Normally this would have been a ball to feet but our diminutive 2nd half sub brought it down on his chest and in then laid off a delightful square pass across the edge of the box for the on rushing Cushy, whose even more delightful first touch took him between two defenders and into the box. The finish was never in doubt and he stroked the ball into the back of the net - lush. 3-3.

4. Der Hammer (Gareth Davies)

Now then, this goal was all about one man. Gazza D take a bow son. Receiving the ball wide right a few yards inside the Wymondham half Gazza set off on another run, skipping past now flagging opponents he approached the penalty area. No one expected what happened next, I suspect even Gazza himself may even have been a little surprised. It was 3-3 and things were getting tense, things were also getting dark as we entered the last 15 minutes of the game. Without breaking his stride Gazza let fly and the ball flashed at chest height towards the goal. I think their keeper sensed the shot, but he certainly didn't see it and the ball flew into the top corner burning the keepers finger tips on the way. What a goal, Gazza wheeled away arms aloft still going like the clappers, I might have celebrated with him if only I could have caught him - superb. 4-3.

5. Timeless (Mark Mann)

I probably would have taken 4-3 at that stage. But the boys weren't finished yet. Some intricate passing across the front of the Wymondham box between Brother Harvey, Glenn Brown and special friend Simon resulted in Mark Mann receiving the ball with his back to goal about 20 yards out. A sharp turn and quick look up was followed with what can only be described as pure class, a timeless gem. From where I was standing, on the sidelines I could see the keeper was off his line and I remember thinking - an international superstar player would chip the keeper from there. Can you guess what happened next? He only went and did it. Sheringham, Hoddle, Beardsley, Brooking, Mann - massive. 5-3.

6. Just Deserts (Harvey Walters)

The final goal came in the dying seconds from Brother Harvey, who worked really hard all game and was unlucky not to have been on the score sheet having missed a load of sitters and been victim of a couple of dodgy offsides given by the long lost member of the Jackson Five. Cushy broke free in midfield, Brother Harvey's natural striking instinct saw him drift left off the last defenders shoulder. A quality ball into his run was followed by a quality first time finish across the keeper into the far corner of the net - delicious. 6-3.

So we end 2008 with a perfect home record in the league played 2, won 2 and are back in the title race. With the addition of new corner flags in club colours we can now officially call our home ground "Fortress Thorpe St. Andrew High School Last Pitch Past The Tennis Courts".

Anyway, have a great Xmas and New Year and see you all in January for the start of the 'run in'.


Come on you Spurs!


Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
Norwich Hotspur