Martham 4 - 4 Norwich Hotspur
18/01/2009
So it went something like this ..... first 2o odd minutes we were brilliant (2-0 up), the next 20 odd minutes we were bad (2-2), the next 20 odd minutes we were awful (4-2 down) and for the final 20 odd minutes we were great if not a little desperate (4-4).
On paper it sounds like a classic and I suppose I should be feeling pleased that we came back from 2 goals down to earn a point away from home, but those of us involved in the game and the poor sods who had to watch it will know that it was far from being a classic, but still we should have won this game at least twice.
The first time we should have won it was in the first half. Yet again we were without any out and out strikers with Brother Harv unavailable and Guz still crocked, so I decided to try something different. Instead of our usual 'pincer' attacking tactics I thought we'd try our fleet footed wingmen up the middle and adopt more 'blitzkreig' approach, i.e. hit them hard and fast down the middle and not worry too much about the flanks.
This proved to be a master stroke of such tactical genius not seen since El Tel's famous Christmas tree formation in Euro '96. It looked good right from the off. Some nice interplay between several players resulted in the ball breaking loose in the penalty area no more than 8 yards out. Steve "the doctor says I can't head the ball" Newman timed his run into the box to perfection, adjusted his stride and opened up his body in one single fluid motion, met the ball first time and confidently stroked the ball ..... about 1o yards wide.
What followed was much better. Despite the double whammy of playing into a strong head wind and low setting sun we were on fire. Some great movement and smart passing resulted in the ball being fed into Robinho Baylis' feet, whose first time flick was met on the run by star of the last game Gazza D, who raced away and tucked the ball away to put us 1-0 up. Two things pleased me about this goal ... 1) it was exactly how I imagined these two would work together up front and 2) Robinho Baylis did exactly what his manager asked him to (if only that was true for the full 90 minutes .... more on that later).
Just a couple of minutes later and it was 2-0. Larry "got your car keys" Kitson filling in at left midfield played Robinho in down the channel, who cut inside and fired the ball hard and low towards the goal (note: at this point I am not saying whether it was on target or not but going by the abysmal effort later in the half from the same position that went for a throw in near the half way line, I suspect it was not) and it ended up in the back of the net thanks to a big deflection off the floundering Martham keeper.
So here we were 2-0 and Martham had hardly touched the ball we were awesome and we should have gone on and won the game easily, but we didn't. It started with Big Nige letting his team mates down by substituting himself after a bit of a tantrum about someone not passing to him and going on strike on the half way line as the Verne "Mini Me" Troyer looky likey Martham winger ran unopposed towards our goal. However, in a way we should be grateful to Big Nige because if he had not gone off we might not have been treated to a special appearance by Glenn "get down" Brown, who made a great attempt to emulate Robinho Baylis' antics at Aylsham and somehow managed to end up flat on his back without another player or the ball or the ref within 10 yards of him. Other specials from the Brown repertoire included his now famous "across my own penalty area unexpected throw in" and the perfectly executed "swing and a miss". The best advice we could give him at half time was use a longer tee.
The rest of the half is a bit of a blur. I vaguely remember Tim getting caught in possession a couple of times or three. Perhaps the wind got a bit stronger I don't know, we certainly lost focus and stopped passing the ball and somehow by half time it was 2-2.
I decided to make some changes and bring on some 'big' players. Big Nige had dried his eyes, Big Ken Rooney was looking sharp and Big Gary was sporting some impressive strapping around his fragile hamstring. This proved to be a master stroke of tactical ineptitude not seen since Nigel Worthington decided that Simon Charlton was the Norfolk version of Claude Makele. Big Gary to his credit even warned me not to put him on at the back, but I knew better and told him things would be fine. They weren't fine. Things were bad. We conceded 2 more very soft goals against a really poor side. Even their players couldn't quite believe it.
By this time the frustration was starting to kick in and several 'tiffs' could be heard across the park. Mainly between me and Robinho to fair. I know exactly how Mark Hughes feels this morning after his Brazilian prima donna stormed out of their training camp and jumped on a plane to Rio. He will learn the hard way that the managers word is final. Anyway all sorted now, I took the young man to one side after the game, we talked about it for 20 minutes and then we decided that I was right.
15 minutes left, 4-2 down, we had to change something. Big Ken Rooney (managers note: must practice kick offs before the next game) and Big Gary (managers note: must listen to players when they tell me not to risk them at the back) made way for Judas Priest and Smokey Oakley who injected new vigour and belief into the team. From here onwards it was all Hotspur pressure. We were pounding them. Blitzkreig had been abandoned, this was Hammer Time. More than once I heard a mention of the Alamo, but that might have been BKR and Big Nige discussing car rentals for our close season Florida excursion.
Anyway eventually this pressure paid off. Following a bit of a melee in the penalty area we were awarded a slightly dubious penalty. Thankfully I had nominated Big Nige on pens before the kick off which saved any ugly scenes between those team members yet to register this season. Once the protests had died down Big Nige placed the ball on the spot, calmly walked back and waited for the whistle. At this point those of you who know Big Nige well would have noticed that he had adopted his 'sex face'. We see this face when he is really focused, really concentrating on something like when standing over a drive on the golf course. How do I know this is also his 'sex face'? Well it was confirmed from the horses mouth, the lovely Mrs Nige, poor woman. Big Nige slammed the ball home, a quality strike, 4-3 we were back in it, come on Hotspur!
We continued to pile on the pressure. 10 minutes left and a freekick is awarded just outside the box. Big Nige sent in a great cross that had the keeper in trouble, back peddling he managed to tip the ball onto the bar. Damn it, But wait a second, who is this arriving at the back post, it's only Steve "the doctor says I can't head the ball unless it's an open goal" Newman, who thumped a header off the rebound into the back of the net. 4-4, we can win this.
And this is the second time we should have won the game, despite a slightly dubious 'hand of god' clearance off the line by Big Nige with a couple of minutes left. However that aside, during the remaining 8 minutes or so we had a number of chances to finish Martham off. I had a header cleared off the line and 30 yarder (it was definitely coming back on the wind) tipped around the post. Judas Priest hit the bar and Larry K missed what can only be described as a FLIPPING SITTER (you muppet!).
Final Score 4-4.
On reflection we probably played well enough to earn all 3 points and we probably played badly enough to earn sweet FA, so I guess that means a draw was a fair result and our away win monkey must stay on our backs for a while longer.
Yet again though it was a thoroughly enjoyable incident packed game and I can't wait until the next one.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
Norwich Hotspur
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
Six of the best
Norwich Hotspur 6 - 3 Wymondham College Reserves
14/12/2008
As any football club manager will tell you the Christmas fixtures can make or break any clubs season. So after a 5 week break since our last game I had long been touting this match as a MUST WIN game. I was looking for a good performance and a good result. On paper we looked solid and based on previous home form I was feeling confident that we had enough in the tank to get all 3 points from this match.
During my usual pre-match cliche ridden speach, I warned the lads against complacency, told them we needed to be 'at it' right from the off. I had draughted in Brother Harvey and his special friend Simon for this match to add a bit of fire power up front in the absence of our rootin' tootin' shootin' yanky doodle dandy Guz being absent through injury. Big Ken Rooney was fit again and back in the starting line up, Big Nige having been fitted with a new high tensile steel piston that we had specially made in a Tokyo shipyard was also back in, add to that lots of quality elsewhere and a decent looking bench.
The game kicked off and we were immediately on top, in fact we were 2-0 up within 15 minutes and cruising. Then the wheels started to come off. First Wymondham scored a really jammy goal - a mishit shot from 25 yards seemed no threat at first, only for it to somehow find a way through a crowd of players, past an unsighted (well that's what he said) goalkeeper and into the corner of the net off the inside of the post, 2-1. Worse was to follow. Having missed a hat full of chances we conceded another after Big Nige managed to toe end a cross into his own net (Guz reckons you're now on -1 goals for the season by the way).
Half time 2-2.
Having dominated the first half I couldn't believe we were level. My half time team talk went along the lines of 'we dominated the first half I can't believe we are level' and something inspiring about 'keep it simple, take your time on the ball, pick the right pass and we will win this' - it was good stuff. Four pairs of fresh legs were brought on - Paul Tink, Glenn Brown, Mark Mann and Chris Oakley - hmmmm, perhaps fresh legs is not exactly the right phrase.
Wymondham kicked off. Shit, they scored again and we hadn't even touched the ball. Some dodgy marking at the back post shall not be mentioned. 2-3. This was not part of the plan, even Gazza Davies (my man of the match) was getting frustrated at this.
Thankfully, from there we steadied the ship and went on to score 4 quality goals and rightfully take all three points. Job done, must win game was won, good all round squad performance and 6 really high quality goals - so good in fact that I need to describe each one in detail for the record.
1. Lighting Strike (Gareth Davies)
Defending a corner, Cushy & Vince cleared, the ball was played quickly up to Brother Harvey who nipped in front of his marker and flicked the ball on. Gazza D had already started his run, Wymondham were like rabbits caught in the headlights as 'whoosh' Gazza tore past them onto the flick - he was gone! Harry Redknapp once said that Theo Walcott was so graceful that he could run through a puddle without making a splash, well the sight of Gazza at full tilt was nothing like that at all to be fair. He still had the whole of the opponents half to cover, but was looking in control. As he bore down on the keeper, he poised to pull the trigger, I remember at least 3 of us shouting that thing that all players love to hear when they are about to shoot - "FINISH". To his credit he managed to block out the primal screams and cooly 'slotted' the ball home under the keeper - nice. 1-0.
2. Le Tunnel (Jem Walters)
Some neat passing in midfield between myself, Cushy and Gazza D left me with the ball at my feet, I shrugged off one challenge and was moving at 'pace' towards the Wymondham penalty area. Their two centre halfs closed in, I managed to slip the ball through the legs of one of them (in the UK we refer to this as 'NUTS' or 'MEGS', however in France they call it 'LE TUNNEL') and burst into the box. His centre half partner came across to cover, but I managed to force the ball out to Gazza D on the edge of the box. Using my natural athleticism I sprang back onto my feet just in time to receive the ball back from Gazza after he cut it back from the by line. One touch, a quick look up and then BOOM, I smashed the ball into the back of the net off the underside of the bar - sweet. 2-0.
3. Perfect Simplicity (Paul Cushion)
Despite going 2-3 down straight after the kick off for the 2nd half, I was still confident that we could turn it round if we kept it simple. This goal was perfection in terms of its simple execution. Nige picked up the ball just inside our half. Good first touch, he looked up and picked out his target. Having tamed his new piston, he pulled back this right foot (pishhhed teecuff) and floated a lovely ball forward 20 yards upto Mark Mann. Normally this would have been a ball to feet but our diminutive 2nd half sub brought it down on his chest and in then laid off a delightful square pass across the edge of the box for the on rushing Cushy, whose even more delightful first touch took him between two defenders and into the box. The finish was never in doubt and he stroked the ball into the back of the net - lush. 3-3.
4. Der Hammer (Gareth Davies)
Now then, this goal was all about one man. Gazza D take a bow son. Receiving the ball wide right a few yards inside the Wymondham half Gazza set off on another run, skipping past now flagging opponents he approached the penalty area. No one expected what happened next, I suspect even Gazza himself may even have been a little surprised. It was 3-3 and things were getting tense, things were also getting dark as we entered the last 15 minutes of the game. Without breaking his stride Gazza let fly and the ball flashed at chest height towards the goal. I think their keeper sensed the shot, but he certainly didn't see it and the ball flew into the top corner burning the keepers finger tips on the way. What a goal, Gazza wheeled away arms aloft still going like the clappers, I might have celebrated with him if only I could have caught him - superb. 4-3.
5. Timeless (Mark Mann)
I probably would have taken 4-3 at that stage. But the boys weren't finished yet. Some intricate passing across the front of the Wymondham box between Brother Harvey, Glenn Brown and special friend Simon resulted in Mark Mann receiving the ball with his back to goal about 20 yards out. A sharp turn and quick look up was followed with what can only be described as pure class, a timeless gem. From where I was standing, on the sidelines I could see the keeper was off his line and I remember thinking - an international superstar player would chip the keeper from there. Can you guess what happened next? He only went and did it. Sheringham, Hoddle, Beardsley, Brooking, Mann - massive. 5-3.
6. Just Deserts (Harvey Walters)
The final goal came in the dying seconds from Brother Harvey, who worked really hard all game and was unlucky not to have been on the score sheet having missed a load of sitters and been victim of a couple of dodgy offsides given by the long lost member of the Jackson Five. Cushy broke free in midfield, Brother Harvey's natural striking instinct saw him drift left off the last defenders shoulder. A quality ball into his run was followed by a quality first time finish across the keeper into the far corner of the net - delicious. 6-3.
So we end 2008 with a perfect home record in the league played 2, won 2 and are back in the title race. With the addition of new corner flags in club colours we can now officially call our home ground "Fortress Thorpe St. Andrew High School Last Pitch Past The Tennis Courts".
Anyway, have a great Xmas and New Year and see you all in January for the start of the 'run in'.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
Norwich Hotspur
14/12/2008
As any football club manager will tell you the Christmas fixtures can make or break any clubs season. So after a 5 week break since our last game I had long been touting this match as a MUST WIN game. I was looking for a good performance and a good result. On paper we looked solid and based on previous home form I was feeling confident that we had enough in the tank to get all 3 points from this match.
During my usual pre-match cliche ridden speach, I warned the lads against complacency, told them we needed to be 'at it' right from the off. I had draughted in Brother Harvey and his special friend Simon for this match to add a bit of fire power up front in the absence of our rootin' tootin' shootin' yanky doodle dandy Guz being absent through injury. Big Ken Rooney was fit again and back in the starting line up, Big Nige having been fitted with a new high tensile steel piston that we had specially made in a Tokyo shipyard was also back in, add to that lots of quality elsewhere and a decent looking bench.
The game kicked off and we were immediately on top, in fact we were 2-0 up within 15 minutes and cruising. Then the wheels started to come off. First Wymondham scored a really jammy goal - a mishit shot from 25 yards seemed no threat at first, only for it to somehow find a way through a crowd of players, past an unsighted (well that's what he said) goalkeeper and into the corner of the net off the inside of the post, 2-1. Worse was to follow. Having missed a hat full of chances we conceded another after Big Nige managed to toe end a cross into his own net (Guz reckons you're now on -1 goals for the season by the way).
Half time 2-2.
Having dominated the first half I couldn't believe we were level. My half time team talk went along the lines of 'we dominated the first half I can't believe we are level' and something inspiring about 'keep it simple, take your time on the ball, pick the right pass and we will win this' - it was good stuff. Four pairs of fresh legs were brought on - Paul Tink, Glenn Brown, Mark Mann and Chris Oakley - hmmmm, perhaps fresh legs is not exactly the right phrase.
Wymondham kicked off. Shit, they scored again and we hadn't even touched the ball. Some dodgy marking at the back post shall not be mentioned. 2-3. This was not part of the plan, even Gazza Davies (my man of the match) was getting frustrated at this.
Thankfully, from there we steadied the ship and went on to score 4 quality goals and rightfully take all three points. Job done, must win game was won, good all round squad performance and 6 really high quality goals - so good in fact that I need to describe each one in detail for the record.
1. Lighting Strike (Gareth Davies)
Defending a corner, Cushy & Vince cleared, the ball was played quickly up to Brother Harvey who nipped in front of his marker and flicked the ball on. Gazza D had already started his run, Wymondham were like rabbits caught in the headlights as 'whoosh' Gazza tore past them onto the flick - he was gone! Harry Redknapp once said that Theo Walcott was so graceful that he could run through a puddle without making a splash, well the sight of Gazza at full tilt was nothing like that at all to be fair. He still had the whole of the opponents half to cover, but was looking in control. As he bore down on the keeper, he poised to pull the trigger, I remember at least 3 of us shouting that thing that all players love to hear when they are about to shoot - "FINISH". To his credit he managed to block out the primal screams and cooly 'slotted' the ball home under the keeper - nice. 1-0.
2. Le Tunnel (Jem Walters)
Some neat passing in midfield between myself, Cushy and Gazza D left me with the ball at my feet, I shrugged off one challenge and was moving at 'pace' towards the Wymondham penalty area. Their two centre halfs closed in, I managed to slip the ball through the legs of one of them (in the UK we refer to this as 'NUTS' or 'MEGS', however in France they call it 'LE TUNNEL') and burst into the box. His centre half partner came across to cover, but I managed to force the ball out to Gazza D on the edge of the box. Using my natural athleticism I sprang back onto my feet just in time to receive the ball back from Gazza after he cut it back from the by line. One touch, a quick look up and then BOOM, I smashed the ball into the back of the net off the underside of the bar - sweet. 2-0.
3. Perfect Simplicity (Paul Cushion)
Despite going 2-3 down straight after the kick off for the 2nd half, I was still confident that we could turn it round if we kept it simple. This goal was perfection in terms of its simple execution. Nige picked up the ball just inside our half. Good first touch, he looked up and picked out his target. Having tamed his new piston, he pulled back this right foot (pishhhed teecuff) and floated a lovely ball forward 20 yards upto Mark Mann. Normally this would have been a ball to feet but our diminutive 2nd half sub brought it down on his chest and in then laid off a delightful square pass across the edge of the box for the on rushing Cushy, whose even more delightful first touch took him between two defenders and into the box. The finish was never in doubt and he stroked the ball into the back of the net - lush. 3-3.
4. Der Hammer (Gareth Davies)
Now then, this goal was all about one man. Gazza D take a bow son. Receiving the ball wide right a few yards inside the Wymondham half Gazza set off on another run, skipping past now flagging opponents he approached the penalty area. No one expected what happened next, I suspect even Gazza himself may even have been a little surprised. It was 3-3 and things were getting tense, things were also getting dark as we entered the last 15 minutes of the game. Without breaking his stride Gazza let fly and the ball flashed at chest height towards the goal. I think their keeper sensed the shot, but he certainly didn't see it and the ball flew into the top corner burning the keepers finger tips on the way. What a goal, Gazza wheeled away arms aloft still going like the clappers, I might have celebrated with him if only I could have caught him - superb. 4-3.
5. Timeless (Mark Mann)
I probably would have taken 4-3 at that stage. But the boys weren't finished yet. Some intricate passing across the front of the Wymondham box between Brother Harvey, Glenn Brown and special friend Simon resulted in Mark Mann receiving the ball with his back to goal about 20 yards out. A sharp turn and quick look up was followed with what can only be described as pure class, a timeless gem. From where I was standing, on the sidelines I could see the keeper was off his line and I remember thinking - an international superstar player would chip the keeper from there. Can you guess what happened next? He only went and did it. Sheringham, Hoddle, Beardsley, Brooking, Mann - massive. 5-3.
6. Just Deserts (Harvey Walters)
The final goal came in the dying seconds from Brother Harvey, who worked really hard all game and was unlucky not to have been on the score sheet having missed a load of sitters and been victim of a couple of dodgy offsides given by the long lost member of the Jackson Five. Cushy broke free in midfield, Brother Harvey's natural striking instinct saw him drift left off the last defenders shoulder. A quality ball into his run was followed by a quality first time finish across the keeper into the far corner of the net - delicious. 6-3.
So we end 2008 with a perfect home record in the league played 2, won 2 and are back in the title race. With the addition of new corner flags in club colours we can now officially call our home ground "Fortress Thorpe St. Andrew High School Last Pitch Past The Tennis Courts".
Anyway, have a great Xmas and New Year and see you all in January for the start of the 'run in'.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
Norwich Hotspur
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
We got a Black Hawk down!
Aylsham Blackboys 3 - 1 Norwich Hotspur
09/11/2008
I think we were very unlucky not to come away with at least a point from a hard fought match against Aylsham Blackboys last Sunday. They are clearly a good side and are deservedly top of the league. However, I think we competed really well despite losing top scorer Guz early on when one of his telescopic legs got twisted in a figure of eight and messed up his knee, in fact for the first ten minutes we were all over them like the proverbial cheap fur coat.
The pitch was more Old Macdonalds Farm than Wembley and a strong cross wind made conditions tricky - too tricky in fact for some, but more on that later!
Defensively the new look line up looked pretty solid with Coxy rolling back the years and putting in a fine performance between the sticks as an emergency fill in for Ian, the laid back gazelle that is Chris Manley and I enjoyed plodding around in the mud hoofing it as hard as we could at every opportunity and both fullbacks Tim and Kitty looked comfortable and controlled on the ball, although Kitty did have a phase slicing it out into touch rugby style, until he got his boots on the right feet and then all was well.
Cushy and Steve battled hard in central midfield against both the conditions and opposition and came away with a lot of credit. The wind in the first half made it difficult for Gazza D and he did his best work when he came inside off the wing very nearly breaking through a couple of times. Robinho Baylis also had some success on the left particularly early on, less so later.
At this point I must mention the highlight of the game, a moment of pure entertainment that transcended mere sporting achievement and can only be described as, priceless. Robinho Baylis found himself in a tight situation, surrounded by Aylsham players, a bouncing ball, the crowd looking on expectantly. A good first touch, he didn't have too many during the game, but this was a good one, moved the ball away from the opposing players into space. From there we all expected him to hit the turbo and see him gracefully glide away like Thiery Henry off on one of those maisy runs we know he can produce. However, as the engine started to rev and he slipped into gear, the wheels began to spin but he wasn't moving. The world seemed to stop for a moment, the legs were pumping but he wasn't going anywhere - what was happening? Then the problems started. In that brief split second between sending a message from his brain to his legs to start running and realising that all was not well, he forgot to tell his top half to stop. From here onwards things got bad. He was in what is technically described as a 'flat spin', he was going down and going down hard. It wouldn't have been so bad, if he had remembered to tell his arms to break his fall, but as they lay limply by his side poor Baylis slammed face and chest first into the mud with a resounding thud.
For the benefit of those not present, at this point I refer to the excellent film directed by Ridley Scott called Black Hawk Down and the crash scene as the Delta Force Apache attack helicopter goes down in Mogadishu - it was brutal!
At this point both the home and away spectators, players and even the ref burst into raucous laughter and applause, this was a special moment and we all appreciated it, however this applause and gaiety only seemed to encourage Mr Baylis to continue the show. Most people would probably have cut their losses at this stage and conceded the moment to one of life's unfortunate mishaps. Not so for our Chris, he's a pro. I suppose the fact that he actually fell on or at least very close to the ball meant that something deep inside him suggested that he might be able to recover the situation. However, he no longer had the use of his arms or legs, so using only his head and body he started to, well um, writhe I suppose towards the ball. I don't really know how to describe it to be honest but a sort of primal 1980's body popping break dance isn't far off the mark. Thank goodness that at this point, the ref realised that enough was enough and put an end to his suffering by blowing the whistle for obstruction. As I said - PRICELESS.
Anyway back to the game. Jason Priest and Jason Pilbrow worked extremely hard up front and were rightly rewarded with a goal after 15 mins. A searing laser like 40 yard pass forward from the boy Walters at the back dropped onto the rampaging Priests foot as he burst into the box, cut inside and placed a pinpoint cross onto the head of the flying Pilbrow who buried a bullet of a header into the net via the right hand post (well that's how I remember it), 1-0 to the Hotspurs - back o' the net! After that we came under a bit of pressure but were looking reasonably comfortable, Coxy pulling off a couple of great saves. However, 5 mins before half time it was 1-1 after a good finish from their right winger who managed to nip in between the Chris and Kitty.
We slugged it out in the 2nd half and were unfortunate to find ourselves 2-1 down with about 20 mins to go, when Aylsham scored with a mishit shot and then hit us on the break close to the end as we were committing players forward chasing an equaliser. Final score 3-1. Once again this game highlighted the value of having a full match day squad as injuries and old bones kicked in during the game with good contributions from Glenn, Big Kev and Paul Tink in the 2nd half.
All in all a thoroughly enjoyable game, with some memories I shall have for a long time (thanks Baylis) and I can't wait until the next chapter of the Norwich Hotspur story, which will be the friendly on the 23rd Nov as previously advised.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
NHFC
09/11/2008
I think we were very unlucky not to come away with at least a point from a hard fought match against Aylsham Blackboys last Sunday. They are clearly a good side and are deservedly top of the league. However, I think we competed really well despite losing top scorer Guz early on when one of his telescopic legs got twisted in a figure of eight and messed up his knee, in fact for the first ten minutes we were all over them like the proverbial cheap fur coat.
The pitch was more Old Macdonalds Farm than Wembley and a strong cross wind made conditions tricky - too tricky in fact for some, but more on that later!
Defensively the new look line up looked pretty solid with Coxy rolling back the years and putting in a fine performance between the sticks as an emergency fill in for Ian, the laid back gazelle that is Chris Manley and I enjoyed plodding around in the mud hoofing it as hard as we could at every opportunity and both fullbacks Tim and Kitty looked comfortable and controlled on the ball, although Kitty did have a phase slicing it out into touch rugby style, until he got his boots on the right feet and then all was well.
Cushy and Steve battled hard in central midfield against both the conditions and opposition and came away with a lot of credit. The wind in the first half made it difficult for Gazza D and he did his best work when he came inside off the wing very nearly breaking through a couple of times. Robinho Baylis also had some success on the left particularly early on, less so later.
At this point I must mention the highlight of the game, a moment of pure entertainment that transcended mere sporting achievement and can only be described as, priceless. Robinho Baylis found himself in a tight situation, surrounded by Aylsham players, a bouncing ball, the crowd looking on expectantly. A good first touch, he didn't have too many during the game, but this was a good one, moved the ball away from the opposing players into space. From there we all expected him to hit the turbo and see him gracefully glide away like Thiery Henry off on one of those maisy runs we know he can produce. However, as the engine started to rev and he slipped into gear, the wheels began to spin but he wasn't moving. The world seemed to stop for a moment, the legs were pumping but he wasn't going anywhere - what was happening? Then the problems started. In that brief split second between sending a message from his brain to his legs to start running and realising that all was not well, he forgot to tell his top half to stop. From here onwards things got bad. He was in what is technically described as a 'flat spin', he was going down and going down hard. It wouldn't have been so bad, if he had remembered to tell his arms to break his fall, but as they lay limply by his side poor Baylis slammed face and chest first into the mud with a resounding thud.
For the benefit of those not present, at this point I refer to the excellent film directed by Ridley Scott called Black Hawk Down and the crash scene as the Delta Force Apache attack helicopter goes down in Mogadishu - it was brutal!
At this point both the home and away spectators, players and even the ref burst into raucous laughter and applause, this was a special moment and we all appreciated it, however this applause and gaiety only seemed to encourage Mr Baylis to continue the show. Most people would probably have cut their losses at this stage and conceded the moment to one of life's unfortunate mishaps. Not so for our Chris, he's a pro. I suppose the fact that he actually fell on or at least very close to the ball meant that something deep inside him suggested that he might be able to recover the situation. However, he no longer had the use of his arms or legs, so using only his head and body he started to, well um, writhe I suppose towards the ball. I don't really know how to describe it to be honest but a sort of primal 1980's body popping break dance isn't far off the mark. Thank goodness that at this point, the ref realised that enough was enough and put an end to his suffering by blowing the whistle for obstruction. As I said - PRICELESS.
Anyway back to the game. Jason Priest and Jason Pilbrow worked extremely hard up front and were rightly rewarded with a goal after 15 mins. A searing laser like 40 yard pass forward from the boy Walters at the back dropped onto the rampaging Priests foot as he burst into the box, cut inside and placed a pinpoint cross onto the head of the flying Pilbrow who buried a bullet of a header into the net via the right hand post (well that's how I remember it), 1-0 to the Hotspurs - back o' the net! After that we came under a bit of pressure but were looking reasonably comfortable, Coxy pulling off a couple of great saves. However, 5 mins before half time it was 1-1 after a good finish from their right winger who managed to nip in between the Chris and Kitty.
We slugged it out in the 2nd half and were unfortunate to find ourselves 2-1 down with about 20 mins to go, when Aylsham scored with a mishit shot and then hit us on the break close to the end as we were committing players forward chasing an equaliser. Final score 3-1. Once again this game highlighted the value of having a full match day squad as injuries and old bones kicked in during the game with good contributions from Glenn, Big Kev and Paul Tink in the 2nd half.
All in all a thoroughly enjoyable game, with some memories I shall have for a long time (thanks Baylis) and I can't wait until the next chapter of the Norwich Hotspur story, which will be the friendly on the 23rd Nov as previously advised.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
NHFC
Friday, 31 October 2008
Beaten but not defeated
Cromer Crabs 5 - 4 Norwich Hotspur (aet)
26/10/08
Despite losing 5-4 aet to Cromer Crabs on Sunday and despite being gutted that the league and cup double will now have to wait until next season, I thoroughly enjoyed the game even after being called a "cheating filthy c**t" by their centre half while he foamed at the mouth with rage. It was a definite penalty but I admit might have emphasised my fall in a Ronaldoesque way a bit to make sure the ref was in no doubt about blowing his whistle, after all we were 4-3 down in extra time. Guz duely converted with what I can only describe as the worst penalty that I have ever seen scored - but they all count.
I thought we were unlucky with injuries during the game which meant the remaining 11 players standing had to battle on manfully on a heavy pitch. Credit to Ian Doy for carrying on with a crocked knee. At 2-1 up before Gary Eversons hamstring went 'ping' in spectacular fashion, we looked comfortable and I expected us to go on and win easily from there having started the 2nd half on fire with goals from Cushy's free kick (Nigel please take note how it's done) and yours truly with burst of pace into the box and a left foot thunderbolt following an eye of the needle pass from man of match Cushy.
The other big blow was losing Nigel just before half time. The injury occurred after Nigel put his full weight into a goal kick, which to be fair went miles. However, strangely enough there was a couple of minutes delayed effect before the injury brought big Nige down, and with the ball
at his feet he literally froze on the spot, much to the confusion and then hilarity of those around him. If you have ever seen one of those David Attenborough documentaries when they shoot a rampant bull elephant with a big tranquiliser dart and then stand back for 10 minutes before it finally hits the deck then you will know what I mean.
What followed is probably best described as a series of missed chances and missed tackles that ultimately resulted in our exit from the competition. But on the whole it was a really enjoyable game and good effort from everyone. Tinky as both games you have played resulted in extra time, you can take comfort from the fact that it's 90 mins only from now onwards.
Next game is Aylsham away on 9th Nov. Let me know if you are not available or injured asap, I will be sending out a text over the weekend to confirm selection.
One consequence of us getting knocked out of the cup is that we have a 5 week gap after the Aylsham game before our next league game on the 14th Dec. Some of the young whipper snappers (i.e. < 35s) at Virgin Money would like a friendly and the proposed date is Sun 23rd Nov. Let me know if you are interested and available - we'll probably charge each player £10 and donate the proceeds to a charity of Virgin Money's choice and as thankyou
for the kit sponsorship.
Finally, it has been suggested (by me mostly) that we should have a team night out which Baylis was supposed to organise, but as he has done naff all about it then I will. Proposed date is Fri 14th Nov venue to be decided but will be some where in the city, so put that in your diary.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
NHFC
26/10/08
Despite losing 5-4 aet to Cromer Crabs on Sunday and despite being gutted that the league and cup double will now have to wait until next season, I thoroughly enjoyed the game even after being called a "cheating filthy c**t" by their centre half while he foamed at the mouth with rage. It was a definite penalty but I admit might have emphasised my fall in a Ronaldoesque way a bit to make sure the ref was in no doubt about blowing his whistle, after all we were 4-3 down in extra time. Guz duely converted with what I can only describe as the worst penalty that I have ever seen scored - but they all count.
I thought we were unlucky with injuries during the game which meant the remaining 11 players standing had to battle on manfully on a heavy pitch. Credit to Ian Doy for carrying on with a crocked knee. At 2-1 up before Gary Eversons hamstring went 'ping' in spectacular fashion, we looked comfortable and I expected us to go on and win easily from there having started the 2nd half on fire with goals from Cushy's free kick (Nigel please take note how it's done) and yours truly with burst of pace into the box and a left foot thunderbolt following an eye of the needle pass from man of match Cushy.
The other big blow was losing Nigel just before half time. The injury occurred after Nigel put his full weight into a goal kick, which to be fair went miles. However, strangely enough there was a couple of minutes delayed effect before the injury brought big Nige down, and with the ball
at his feet he literally froze on the spot, much to the confusion and then hilarity of those around him. If you have ever seen one of those David Attenborough documentaries when they shoot a rampant bull elephant with a big tranquiliser dart and then stand back for 10 minutes before it finally hits the deck then you will know what I mean.
What followed is probably best described as a series of missed chances and missed tackles that ultimately resulted in our exit from the competition. But on the whole it was a really enjoyable game and good effort from everyone. Tinky as both games you have played resulted in extra time, you can take comfort from the fact that it's 90 mins only from now onwards.
Next game is Aylsham away on 9th Nov. Let me know if you are not available or injured asap, I will be sending out a text over the weekend to confirm selection.
One consequence of us getting knocked out of the cup is that we have a 5 week gap after the Aylsham game before our next league game on the 14th Dec. Some of the young whipper snappers (i.e. < 35s) at Virgin Money would like a friendly and the proposed date is Sun 23rd Nov. Let me know if you are interested and available - we'll probably charge each player £10 and donate the proceeds to a charity of Virgin Money's choice and as thankyou
for the kit sponsorship.
Finally, it has been suggested (by me mostly) that we should have a team night out which Baylis was supposed to organise, but as he has done naff all about it then I will. Proposed date is Fri 14th Nov venue to be decided but will be some where in the city, so put that in your diary.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
NHFC
Hotspur too warm for Watton
Norwich Hotspur 9 - 0 Watton United
12/10/08
We're up and running with 3 points on the board after a crushing defeat of (ex) league leaders Watton Utd. The league website has the following headline and report.
"Hotspur too warm for Watton
Norwich Hotspur inflicted a heavy 9-0 defeat on visitors Watton United. Paul Cushion led the way with a hat trick, Paul Guzewich netted twice and one each from Chris Baylis, Tim Culling, Steve Newman and Ken Blazer."
What a great result, an excellent performance to match and even a clean sheet as the icing on the cake. I think justice was done after they missed, what can only be described as, a dubiously awarded penalty (ahem) at the start of the 2nd half. Other than that travesty of a decision I
thought young Luke Winter did an excellent job as ref also.
What was also pleasing was that everyone in the squad of 16 made a real contribution to game. First mention must go to Big Ken Blazer for opening the score after I asked him to go and do a Rooney for us. The Watton defence didn't have a clue how to handle him with the unusual positions he was occupying for the first 25 minutes, after which they realised that they
probably didn't need to - but the damage was done by then and all credit to him for being in the right place at the right time to flick in the opener with a deft Rooney like header following some great work down the right by Gaz and Guz.
Defensively, we looked very solid with great performances from Larry K, Gaz E and Deathy in the first half with the Chris twins Oakley and Manley picking up the mantra of 'none shall pass' in the 2nd half. Ian as usual commanded the penalty area with authority and was on hand with a couple of 'saves for the camera' when needed. I think Deathy's motivational speeches and quiet positive encouragement certainly help us defenders stay focused - Laurence you were certainly focused on something there for a minute or two in the first half.
Midfield was where the battle was really won. Our wide boys Gazza D and Robinho Baylis ripped Watton to shreds throughout the game and if Guzzy could finish like Big Ken Blazer then the game would have been won long before half time. Robinho even scored with a header (no really), luck truely was on our side. Cushy, Steve and Mark (yes Deathy it's Mark, not Mick. Micky was their No.6) were busy in the middle and covered alot of ground shutting down Watton and getting forward to support the attack with Cushy chipping in with a hat-trick of quality finishes and Steve also showing Gerrard like energy to burst into the area late on with a calm
finish. Mention also to Tim for saving Robinho's embarrassment by doing what all great wide players do and getting in on the back post to 'shin in' a crossshot from our fleet footed Brazilianesque wingmaster.
Despite not wearing his 'made in the USA rootin tootin shootin boots', Guz caused them lots of problems up-front as usual and still managed to bag a couple to remain leading goalscorer. Jason came on in the 2nd half with the impossible task of filling Big Ken Rooney's boots, but worked really hard and was unlucky not to find himself on the scoresheet.
Overall a thoroughly enjoyable afternoons work, that will strike fear into the rest of the division, with this and the last game proving that we are a match for anyone.
Next we turn our attention to the cup with an away trip to Cromer on the 26th. Despite Deathy's excellent suggestion of going up the night before, I think the likelihood will be that we need to be meeting up and getting away by 12.15pm as it is a 2pm kickoff.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
Norwich Hotspur
12/10/08
We're up and running with 3 points on the board after a crushing defeat of (ex) league leaders Watton Utd. The league website has the following headline and report.
"Hotspur too warm for Watton
Norwich Hotspur inflicted a heavy 9-0 defeat on visitors Watton United. Paul Cushion led the way with a hat trick, Paul Guzewich netted twice and one each from Chris Baylis, Tim Culling, Steve Newman and Ken Blazer."
What a great result, an excellent performance to match and even a clean sheet as the icing on the cake. I think justice was done after they missed, what can only be described as, a dubiously awarded penalty (ahem) at the start of the 2nd half. Other than that travesty of a decision I
thought young Luke Winter did an excellent job as ref also.
What was also pleasing was that everyone in the squad of 16 made a real contribution to game. First mention must go to Big Ken Blazer for opening the score after I asked him to go and do a Rooney for us. The Watton defence didn't have a clue how to handle him with the unusual positions he was occupying for the first 25 minutes, after which they realised that they
probably didn't need to - but the damage was done by then and all credit to him for being in the right place at the right time to flick in the opener with a deft Rooney like header following some great work down the right by Gaz and Guz.
Defensively, we looked very solid with great performances from Larry K, Gaz E and Deathy in the first half with the Chris twins Oakley and Manley picking up the mantra of 'none shall pass' in the 2nd half. Ian as usual commanded the penalty area with authority and was on hand with a couple of 'saves for the camera' when needed. I think Deathy's motivational speeches and quiet positive encouragement certainly help us defenders stay focused - Laurence you were certainly focused on something there for a minute or two in the first half.
Midfield was where the battle was really won. Our wide boys Gazza D and Robinho Baylis ripped Watton to shreds throughout the game and if Guzzy could finish like Big Ken Blazer then the game would have been won long before half time. Robinho even scored with a header (no really), luck truely was on our side. Cushy, Steve and Mark (yes Deathy it's Mark, not Mick. Micky was their No.6) were busy in the middle and covered alot of ground shutting down Watton and getting forward to support the attack with Cushy chipping in with a hat-trick of quality finishes and Steve also showing Gerrard like energy to burst into the area late on with a calm
finish. Mention also to Tim for saving Robinho's embarrassment by doing what all great wide players do and getting in on the back post to 'shin in' a crossshot from our fleet footed Brazilianesque wingmaster.
Despite not wearing his 'made in the USA rootin tootin shootin boots', Guz caused them lots of problems up-front as usual and still managed to bag a couple to remain leading goalscorer. Jason came on in the 2nd half with the impossible task of filling Big Ken Rooney's boots, but worked really hard and was unlucky not to find himself on the scoresheet.
Overall a thoroughly enjoyable afternoons work, that will strike fear into the rest of the division, with this and the last game proving that we are a match for anyone.
Next we turn our attention to the cup with an away trip to Cromer on the 26th. Despite Deathy's excellent suggestion of going up the night before, I think the likelihood will be that we need to be meeting up and getting away by 12.15pm as it is a 2pm kickoff.
Come on you Spurs!
Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
Norwich Hotspur
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