The special one

Watton 5 - 3 Norwich Hotspur
22/02/2009

I knew he was special the moment I saw him. The pristine uniform, neatly trimmed power mootash, pre-match lecture on rules & foul language, 5 minute discussion on whether our goalies top was the wrong colour of black, making us all line up across the area for a boot inspection. This one was a special one for sure, he was from the big league, we were not worthy.

Well let me tell you something about this special one. This special one was the worst referee I think I have ever come across in 30 odd years of playing football. The emotionally unstable 15 year old ginger lad we had last match was ten times the ref this guy would ever be. Not because he doesn't know that a deflection does not count as a back pass for off side, or that its not a penalty if an opposing player trips over the back of your heels, not because of the diabolical positioning he took up at corners and freekicks and not even the fact that he threatened to punch one of our players. No, it was because of all the pre-match poncing and mincing around making us listen to his drivel and dance to his tune - what a penis (with a power mootash).

OK, that is dealt with now, I need to move on.

The game itself was pretty good. By my reckoning it, if you disallow the 3 goals for Watton and 1 for us that were a direct result of Mr P Mootash's incompetence, then it should have been 2-2. Of course you can't and it wasn't and we lost 5-3.

Despite starting well and applying early pressure with several long shots from Country Ken, we found ourselves 2-0 down after 20 minutes following two good finishes from Watton after they hit us on the break. Once Chris Manley went man to man with their danger man we looked much more in control. We played some good stuff and created several more chances including one off the bar from Cushy and a rebound which I thought Big Ken Rooney might have pounced on, but alas no.

That reminds me.

Date: 22/02/2009
Time: 11:49am
From: Kitty
Message: Jem sorry got virus wont be playing today i tried to see he it went alas no.

Kitson you are fined £10 for calling off on the day of a game by text, especially as this is the 2nd time and you were warned.

10 minutes before half time Ian's groin went. It might have been much worse had Ian not engaged his air breaks in time - if only Rob Green had done that when playing for England B against Belarus in 2006 we might have won the World Cup. Coxy duly donned the wrong colour black goalie shirt and gloves and I came on to slot into the back four.

Half time 2-0.

Steve Newman replaced the hard working Big Ken Rooney, who was frustrated with the lack of service up front, for the start of the 2nd half and we pushed Country Ken up front. Within a few minutes it was 2-1 after Big Nige had drilled a perfect cross onto Guzzys head, which he powered into the top corner.

Then Mr P Mootash took over and it was 4-1 with 20 minutes left. After a brilliant fight back we got ourselves back to 4-3 after an own goal and a well taken penalty from Big Nige (2 out of 2 this season for our right back hero).

I threw Big Gary on up front for the last 25 minutes, giving Judas Priest a rest after he'd run his socks off. There is no doubting that Gary was a presence and contributed some nice touches. From there onwards I really thought we were going to get an equaliser and a few chances went begging and Watton rode their luck.

The last goal doesn't really count because Mr P waved play on when 3 Watton players ran through clearly offside and they scored with the last kick of the match.

Full time 5-3.

So the big hairy monkey stays on our backs for a bit longer but we have one more away game to sort that out. Next up is Aylsham at home which I am really looking forward to as they are the only team left with 100% record and I think we owe them one.

Come on you Spurs!



Jem
Head Coach Director of Football Manager
Norwich Hotspur